Wednesday, 10 October 2012

HAVE YOU A NITROGEN PROBLEM? - TEST


Nitrogen addiction is a serious issue. Asses yourself with this test.

Assign yourself one point for each 'YES' answer.
(Be honest with yourself: nitrogen addiction is a serious medical condition and needs professional care.)



1) Do you go diving even after you had a good meal?

2) Do you usually dive in the middle of the week ?

3) Would you dive even after 18h?

4) Have you ever felt the need to dive as soon as you wake up?

5) You've done more than four dives in one day?

6) Do you ever dive alone?

7) If yes, does it happens to you more than once a month?

8) Have you ever been told from friends about things you have done diving which you can't remember?

9) Do you always carry in your car some piece of your diving equipment?

10) Have you ever been fired from work or abandoned by a partner because of scuba diving?

11) Are you member of a diving forum?

12) Do you happen to dive over 60 meters with the air?

13) Do you find that Trimix has a suspicious flavor ?

14) Do you think that Nitrox is a subliminal manipulation's tool?

15) Have you experienced at least one treatment in the hyperbaric chamber?

16) Do you ever get a ride in a hyperbaric chamber just for fun?

17) Back on board did you ever faced angry people tired of waiting for you to be back?

18) Have you ever managed to send to block mode your computer?

19) Do you sometimes lose your buddy in the water?

20) You have changed several diving buddies in recent years?

21) Have you ever run from a diving center without paying?

22) Have you ever had to spend a whole day excuse for what you've done beyond 30 meters?

23)You find funny to leave behind the dive guides?

24) Have you ever been refused by a diving centre?

25) Do you ever still want to dive even after the night dive?

26) Have you ever dived with 'dangerous'diving centres?

27) Have you ever dived with terrifying diving centres and equipment only for their cheap prices?

28) Thirty bars are enuogh to dive again?

29) Have you ever continued the dive even after you realize you jumped in the water without a computer?

30) Do you smell neoprene underwear during long stays on the ground?

31) Have you ever consciously took a cylinder that wasn't your in order to dive again?

32) Do you have to go down always deeper and deeper to feel the effect of nitrogen?

31) Have you ever hit anyone with a cylinder or other parts of the equipment?

32) Are you really sure that friends and family are all happy about you and your diving crazyness? -




Scores

1 to 8 yes: Tadpoles
If you are not novice divers you are kidding, or the most inert thing after the nitrogen is you. Most likely you are that sort that took too little nitrogen and did not develop an addiction worthy of respect. However, if you are not novices are similar to those who smoke five cigarettes a day for twenty years. Most of them smoke disgusting cigarettes 'Light' or 'white'. But it is always on 'Strong' or on 'red' smokers that you see the guy with the guts on his way to a bright future full of cardiovascular events.


9 to 16 YES: Intoxicated
You are definitely an issue of abuse and are slipping happily into a more serious addiction. For you to be a diver is a philosophy and a way of life, you could not see a future without diving. When you collected the salary  you already  think of a piece of equipment or a diving trip. You already experienced some little problem in your social relationships because of your compulsive diving, but like all those in your conditions you are convinced to be able to control it. Fully supporting it.


17 to 24 YES: Sewage Rats
You wallow in vice as a rat in his natural environment. You laugh at any criticism, at any attempt to save you. You have lost contact with reality since a while: if you talk for more than five minutes with a diver is just because you have extorted a promise that it will become a diver. You put a mortgage on your home with the false pretext of restructuring it, in reality you needed money to go diving to Malpelo or buy the latest rebreather. You do not care about undermining love, friendship and work opportunities, in fact: you boast all your borderline acts at the bar with friends.


25 to 32 SI: HAZARDOUS
When the psychiatrists will all agree to recognize that nitrogen addiction is a very serious disease, they will reopen the mad-houses just for you. You are happy of diving with  rusty tanks, rotten BCD,s and gnawed by mice regulators. Have you visited the slums of the underwater world and yo made a lot o friends there. When you tell your diving stories even the sewer rats are afraid. You dive alone since years now, and even dangerous diving centres will not accept you on board: since you had a fight with another fool for a cylinder with forty bars in, your name is on the blacklist of the worst diving centres in the world, that kind with a thick file of customer's mortality high rate. In the past you applied to a dive guide job, but got kicked out immediately and that is why you hate the guides. You do not have any intention to be healed: you already linked this profile to all your friends saying: IT'S ME!. The entire world is just waiting for the reopening of the lunatic asylums. For your head only.

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